My colleague was given this tube of scabies cream out bush after she unknowingly came into contact with infected scabies. Instead of Santa, she got a visit from the disease team. Worst. Christmas. Present. Ever.
All the single ladies
Gangs of the nursing home
The day I get a boyfriend is the day my client list will crumble, because half of my patients will die of a shock after hearing the news. My love life (or lack thereof) is the bloody buggers’ favourite topic of conversation, as seen below with this (typical) convo I had with an 80 year old patient today.
Patient- “are you married?”
Me- “god no”
Patient- “do you have a boyfriend?”
Me- “no, I’m single”
Patient- “it is so sad to be single. And you are so lovely! Are you sad you are all alone?”
Me- “ummm. No. I’m pretty happy at the moment. I’m only 25, plenty of time to settle down later!”
Patient- “oh but you’re getting old! You need to start searching! when you find a man you will be happy, no more sadness in your eyes.”
I walked around a nursing home for three hours today with my fly undone. Whilst this may be acceptable behavior for most patients who live there (i.e the ones in the dementia ward) it is definitely not ok for someone without** memory issues to join the fly down gang. Nek minnit I’ll be a part of the no pants gang, the true badasses of the nursing home.
**Short term memory loss secondary to excessive alcohol consumption does NOT constitute as having memory issues. OK?!
"You lost half your foot mate, where did it go??"
"I walked around and it just came off"
"As you get older sex becomes over rated. It becomes more about the friendship."
Too much information from a patient in a long distance marriage.
"I live in the blue house, near that green one".
“What’s the number? I’m not going to be able to find… Ohh…”
"I got them goanna looking feet them nails are so long"